cliché [klee-shey]

QUOTE thirty

2011-11-01T01:05:00.001+08:00

"Stop being emo.."

I hate that word: emo. What's up with that anyways? If you're sad and depressed, just say it, don't change it into something less serious-sounding like emo. And if you're emo to the extent of goth. PLEASE. get a life. Back to my blog purpose..

Stop being emo? really? how exactly are you making that 'emo' person feel any better? seriously. Want him/her to stop being emo?

If you're her girl friend, take her out for a nice shopping trip.

If you're his girl friend or her guy friend, dinner out sounds good.

If you're his guy friend, a night of drinking is sufficient

If you guys have more than a friendship, talk about things, buy her things, give him a 'happy time'.. or something.

Whatever you do, dont just stand there, next to him, and say "stop being emo".

You're friggin' not his mother. It's a bad cliche, and it oughtta stop.

QUOTE twentynine

2011-10-31T00:51:00.001+08:00

"Did you just call me weird???"

Heyyy.. I may be different, but i am definitely, infinitely not weird. Weird is for people like you whose sense of judgement is faltered so bad, you can't see anything right.

Speaking of which, I'd like to tap on the subject of different. Previously in Quote seven by Marilyn Monroe, I wrote about how one should sometimes go all out and be wacky in whatever ideas we have. This is somewhat similar. And do note, sometimes, the majority of the public usually thinks

DIFFERENT=WEIRD.

They got their equation wrong.

For those in denial who goes.. "Really?". Dude, ask the nearest stranger now. Cause reality sucks and it hurts bad. But never let that get into you, different is really good. It makes you who you are, and it shows that you have found.. YOU. and once you can block out what those idiots out there are saying about you, you'll be the most confident person you'll ever know. Why? Reason being the others haven't found their individuality. They do not know whats good for you. So a little advice:

For those who are calling others weird. CHECK YOURSELF OUT BEFORE DOING SO.

QUOTE twentyeight

2011-10-30T00:49:00.001+08:00

Saying

"You waiting for the bus?"

at the bus-stop.

To all guys out there who ever wants to start a conversation with a chick at the busstop, this is never it. Don't say I didn't warn you. It is BAD.

I fell victim to an awkward silence after asking a girl this. She gave me the look, I will never forget. It was like

And she was like

and I was like..

"£@&!" on the inside. I was so embarrassed, I couldnt board the bus with her. It was too much for me. Stupid moments of m'life. Cliche? A definite indeed.

But girls, a little tip if you encounter such a pickup line. Please refrain from the "oh hell no" face. Just smile and start a conversation. It could make his day...

QUOTE twentyseven

2011-10-28T00:59:00.005+08:00

"Trick or treat..."

Halloween's around the corner, and look at what's in store for the kids. Google probably increased its usage by a minimum 50 percent cause of them kids who try to come up with the scariest or funniest makeover. Then on that very special day, they look all spooky and cute in their little costumes, going door to door trick-or-treating... It isnt very famous in Asia, but in the states, my gollygosh, it's NIRVANA for the little people.

In Asia, houses with minimalist decorations like cobwebs only, kids come up to their doorsteps with their heavy makeups and knock on the door. But as soon as the doors open, there's no need for conversations, just show the adults the bag, and you get the candies. EASY. it's as good as calling it "treat-or-treat".

In the West, houses are fired up for the awesome event. Adults play along as ghosts, and trick the children and still give treats. That's how it's supposed to be...

Origins according to our trustworthy Wikipedia:
Trick-or-treating resembles the late medieval practice of souling, when poor folk would go door to door on Hallowmas (November 1), receiving food in return for prayers for the dead on All Souls Day. It originated in Ireland and Britain. .... blah blah blah.... pre-1940s.

So... From what i understand, it's actually for the poor to ask for food from others. And now kids are replacing that? It's no wonder the poor arent getting as much attention! The kids in masks have! Tsk guys!

To me, halloween is the time when i can finally scare people without feeling guilty. Sorta like Ellen D in this video. Oh, she makes me smile...

QUOTE twentysix

2011-10-27T19:40:00.009+08:00

"Stupidity kills....... Those around you."

As humorous as it sounds, this quote is actually pretty true. Like how they say, "curiosity killed the cat", this saying should be added to the never-ending list of idioms. Sure, I've heard stupidity kills, but no one's ever warned anyone that their stupidity might kill others.

Oh, my bad, wrong picture...

One of my close friends put this as his FB status, and he received nearly 20 likes within two hours. But, that's not my point. My point is, this made an impact on so many people, I figured, why not make it into another cliche?

QUOTE twentyfive

2011-10-27T11:35:00.002+08:00

"We'll keep in touch, yes?"

I recall my younger days, the transition from junior high, to high school, then to college. The number of friends I have lost from the change in school. And with every farewell hugs, parties and send-off, through all the tears and sobs of parting, we always say we'll keep in contact. Through whatever means possible, a random email, a facebook poke, an awkward phone call, or sometimes, we don't even try. Which are you?

But we all know all of these doesn't make the friendship like how it was previously. Everything has less sincerity. To me, "we'll keep in touch" shouldn't be something to be said. It should be something done, the minute that person will be leaving. Posting constant letters, going over to his/her state or country if he/she migrated, meeting up as and when possible.

I am guilty, of asking this question, and yet not contacting my friends even when they're in the same college as me. Nothing's ever too late!

QUOTE twentyfour

2011-10-26T19:00:00.000+08:00

"Don't judge"

How many times have i heard this? or other variations like that idiom, don't judge a book by its cover.

IT'S A HUMAN REACTION, and there's nearly no way to stop it. Just accept the hard truth. No matter how many times you say this to someone, it's definite that you will get judged one way or another.

For whatever reason you told them not to judge
And for saying don't judge!

Why bother saying it, when you'll be scrutinized more closely now. You know what I mean?

Also, I'd rather hear what that person's view is. Saying "don't judge" makes these people not tell you whatever they're thinking, and they'll not give you a a truthful opinion next time!

QUOTE twentythree

2011-10-25T16:18:00.011+08:00

"Goddamn teenagers today..."

Earlier today, I overheard a few mothers chatting over their groceries buy... well, they werent really chatting, they were more like complaining to each other about teens today. I couldnt help it, but purposefully missed my stop just to listen to them about the horrid facts of teens today.

I'm honestly numb towards what the adults have got to say about us youngsters. They hate our taste in music, they dislike our food preference, they hate our sense of fashion, and they hate our dance!

It's like we simply cannot get along!

So, what made me listen to the 2 mature ladies who were rudely talking about us in my presence?
Those quoted words up there, coupled with "have too much time, don't want to wake up by 8am to read newspaper. First thing they do is to switch the TV and straight on to MTV to listen to their very loud songs and expect breakfast to be served to them......"

Then i started thinking how i start my days on non-school days. And compare to her kid.

wake to the angsty rap songs of Eminem blaring from my laptop...
Still on my bed, i would open Facebook to see what's the latest updates on my social network....
snooze a little while longer.
To the kitchen to pour milk for myself.
Return to my room to watch youtube videos
blast music.

Oh gollygosh, i'm worse then her kids. at least her kids are interacting with her in the living room! I'm constantly in my room! My mom hasn't complained...I wonder why. Probably cause i get my own breakfast?

I came across this blog. A very and i really do mean VERY hot-tempered Grandpa who really find many problems with us youngsters. Amusingly, I find them all funny instead of guilty!
It's a really good read!! Click here to be amused.

QUOTE twentytwo

2011-10-24T19:25:00.003+08:00

"Fart-sniffing bubble butt"

This is a real quote said by Rufio of Hook (1991), in the scene of banter between Peter Banning and him. Interesting how this kind of insults makes me smile. especially when i heard it from a little kid in my kindergarten class where i volunteered for a day. It amazes me. Cause this movie is totally not in his era, or even mine, yet here he is quoting from it! When i asked him where he heard it from, all he said was "Ruff said it".
He lost me there.
So i googled it, and apparently, "Ruff" has a lot of amazing ways to call people names, without vulgarities!

Rufio: You are fart factory, Slug-slimed, sack-of-rat-guts-in-cat-vomit, cheesy, scab-picked, pimple-squeezing finger bandage. A week old maggot burger with everything on it and flies on the side!

Wow... that kid knows his words! And it sure is more impactful and less hurtful then the 'f' word... Learn more of his words from here!

You gotta love 'em kids..

QUOTE twentyone

2011-10-23T16:33:00.001+08:00

"Congratulations!"

Congratulations is no more than a word to wish a good fortune to the already fortunate beholder. There's always a time when kids get into college, people get married, babies are born.... and the use of this word suddenly shoots up like a bull market.

It feels good to say it, letting people know you actually wish them well, and that you're thanking whatever omnipotent, omniscient, omnibenevolent being out there for them.

But...

a sarcastic applaud should be banned.

I came across someone who complained to me about this word, and it really hit me that there are some people out there who say "congratulations" half-heartedly, that the poor souls who deserve it did not feel the full impact of it. tsk to you guys.. tsk tsk.

Well, to anyone who comes across this post, and feel like you need a pat on the back,

"Congratulations!" It's important to feel deserved, even if it's just winning that spelling bee contest in class.

QUOTE twenty

2011-10-22T11:51:00.000+08:00

"It's the 21st Century, dude."

Your point is?? I have heard this oh-so-many times and i couldnt really decide what the person was trying to imply.

The 21st Century. What makes us different from 200BC?

proper clothes
weirder fashion sense
technology
skyscrapers
bed and pillow
nuclear power.

Sure, that makes a lot of difference doesnt it? But i already know that you see.. so why state the obvious? I DONT GET YOUR POINT. Life isn't as free or easy as what those stories in the Bible. Life isn't as wise and intelligent as those Chinese scholars and Confucius. You were saying?

This is not the era of depression. Gotta love the lyric.

QUOTE nineteen

2011-10-21T19:20:00.001+08:00

According to the earliest human rights document, England’s Bill of Rights 1689 clearly affirmed that freedom of speech as an inalienable right. Yet, Martin Luther King Jr was murdered when he had a dream a few decades ago.

"It's my FREEDOM OF SPEECH"

Maybe, just maybe they should have specified? A guideline perhaps? Without that, I think i'd keep my mouth zipped for many matters, knowing danger is still out there...

Well, a professor shut me up in class the other day, only because I had a different opinion. Isnt that against the United States Constitution? I was curious and furious, might i add, that i went to read up on it more. And found this:

Canadian Universities Shrinking the Freedom of Expression.

Wow. So now the world is going in a reverse revolution? Undoing what the French Revolution brought about in the eighteeth century? Queer.

QUOTE eighteen

2011-10-20T19:15:00.001+08:00

"In black and white
please."

You know how we make promises. Spit handshake, cross our hearts, pinky swear and whatnot... And we still don't keep certain promises? It's time to accommodate a new practice. WRITE IT DOWN.

Without a doubt, I'm definitely a promise breaker. Hey, don't judge. But really, the whole idea of a promise is to keep to it and lately, i've learnt never to promise someone lest i'm sincere about it. And when im sincere about it, i'll jot that little promise down in my journal or diary.

Cause Mommy told me to always have important things written in black and white. And she has a good enough reason actually, cause those enemies you have accumulated unknowingly in your years of living may get you into trouble with little proof. However, it is apparent, it is not vice versa.

QUOTE seventeen

2011-10-16T01:01:00.001+08:00

My mom laughed when she heard a kid in Walmart screaming:

"I WANT A NEW MOMMY!!!"

I looked at her incredulously, wondering why she was not feeling the sting that mother must have felt. She simply looked at me and said..

"What? Every kid would say that eventually.

If it's not at four years, it's at twenty.

Besides, mommies are mommies, no change in life there..."

Then I started thinking when my siblings and I said it. It's embarrassing to know that we still returned to our mommy and didnt bother finding a replacement.

Yet again, it would have been more embarrassing for my mother, cause she had to live through the moments we stomped our feet and shouted. I mean, everyone who hadn't experienced this,unlike my mom, must have been thinking what a horrible mother she must have been! Yikes, I plead ~~not~~ guilty.

QUOTE sixteen

2011-10-05T16:38:00.002+08:00

Chill, everyone makes mistakes.

"Shit.."

I love it when people say this, lets me know I ain't alone in saying it. I've always felt that it's a very crude word. Unpleasant to the ears especially if it comes out of a girl's mouth. But how else can we say it? "oh no"? thats just too classy for a mistake don't you think?

QUOTE fifteen

2011-10-03T15:43:00.002+08:00

"Anything.."

Like Quote five, it really annoys me when people use this as an answer. And with the same reason, i hate it only because then, I'd have to think which is better suited for you. Why make my mind work for the benefit of you? Is this a test? to see if i know you well enough?

I recall back when i was in Singapore, there was this drink called Anything, and Whatever...if I'm not mistaken, both 'Anything' and 'Whatever' had six flavours each, and it's not written on the outside what flavour it is... so it's kind of like a lucky draw to what flavour you're going to get.

Cool marketing strategy i suppose. But that strategy soon failed and now the drinks arent manufactured anymore. Too bad, I guess people want to know what they're drinking.

No, anything's not cool, give me a solid answer please.

QUOTE fourteen

2011-10-02T14:44:00.001+08:00

"T.G.I.F"

So often do you see this, and there are so many abbreviations of this.

Thank God I'm Female
Thank God it's Friday
This Grandpa Is Fantastic
Tomorrow Got Indian Festival
etc..

But ever seen these words on a to-be-photocopied document from your boss? I have, and i got shock when he pull a red face, and said i got the order of the documents wrong! And all i did was stare blankly and go "huh???"

Apparently, T.G.I.F in office lingo is

"This Goes In Front"

QUOTE thirteen

2011-10-01T14:32:00.001+08:00

Well, I was playing Tilt to live on my ipod touch, and getting only a bare minimum of 5000 for each game and a high score of 7000. I was living in my happy little world when a youngster asked me what my high score was. Apparently, 7000 is pathetic. That youngster's high score was nearing 7,000,000. And he didn't want me to feel sad? So, he said that line:

"Practice makes you perfect"

Though most of us know it, some still refuse to do so. I gave up on that game already. Achieving that high score simply isn't my priority....
Or maybe, i feel like my ego has been punctured, and the only way i can heal myself is to quit whatever is pulling me down? Is that why most husbands gave up trying to iron their own clothes?

QUOTE twelve

2011-09-27T12:58:00.003+08:00

"What a bimbo..."

Usually, girls are called this when.. their actions are dumb. But just a tip, this should never be said to any girl of a higher education, no matter how she behaves like that dumb-blonde you see on TV.

So what are bimbos exactly?

A girl who is stupid, wears lots of make up and is obsessed with boys and clothes.

Urban dictionary added on: "Generally blonde but there are exceptions."

Why were female blondes the ones who are mostly associated with being a Bimbo?
I went to search up the origins of that word. and voila!

According to our very resourceful wikipedia;

"The first usage of the term Bimbo in English was for an unintelligent male. Blah blah blah.... derived from the italian word bambino which means male." Now.... how did it change so drastically to be linked to a female?
"The notion of dumb-blondes may be traced to Europe, with the "dumb blonde" in question being a French courtesan named Rosalie Duthe, satirized in a 1775 play Les curiosites de la Foire for her habit of pausing a long time before speaking, appearing not only stupid but literally dumb (in the sense of mute)."

I pity every blondes out there who wrongly gets accused of being a dumb blonde.
Blame her...

That aside, people come up with the funniest games. From Angry birds to Cooking Mama, and now i found Miss Bimbo. It's hilarious.

It's a game where the virtual girls have to dressup and put on makeup and impress the virtual guys. Not good enough for you? Well, you have the choice of getting a breast implant, in other words.. VIRTUAL BOOB JOB! awesome? no? Well, i tried it out, and i look devastatingly gross. This game is meant for bimbos, i suppose... Not pinpointing anyone here!

Anyways, check out this post from another blog...

QUOTE eleven

2011-09-25T01:15:00.002+08:00

"To be, or not to be"

Shakespeare

"To be, or not to be" is the opening line of a soliloquy from William Shakespeare's play Hamlet.

This has got to be one of the most famous quotes in the history of Literature. And it still applies today, whether to accept that role of a father, or to be the new CEO of that multishareholders company...

Amazingly, when responsibility is thrown into our arms, these words somewhat comes into our heads in all variations. To Tim Cook, the new CEO of Apple Inc... Break a leg! The whole world's counting on you for iphone 5. No pressure :)

QUOTE ten

2011-09-23T04:10:00.002+08:00

adjective

lacking ordinary quickness and keenness of mind; dull.
characterized by or proceeding from mental dullness;foolish; senseless: a stupid question.
tediously dull, especially due to lack of meaning or sense;inane; pointless: a stupid party.
annoying or irritating; troublesome: Turn off that stupidradio.
in a state of stupor; stupefied: stupid from fatigue.

Some people still refer to this word as the "s-word", And i don't blame them. It's literally name-calling in a very harsh manner. And I'm both the victim and the culprit of saying it myself. So I decided to google words which could replace this crude word. And i have come up with a funny lot:

Anencephalous - Lacking a brain
Bumble headed booby
Sharp as a marble
Nincompoop
Pudding-head
Dummkopf

Let's all try to stop saying stupid, and start saying these other rare funny sounding words, shall we?
Any others you guys know, do comment below!

QUOTE nine

2011-09-21T03:50:00.000+08:00

"Oh, the cleverness of me.."

Peter Pan

What can i say? I love that boy. Especially the 2003 edition of Peter Pan. Gollygosh.

Anyways, no matter how much i despise those narcissistic people, Peter Pan got away with it. Well, not just because he has an amazing life. But probably because of the phrasing of these words. GENIUS. It makes you sound truly clever!

I've put this at the back of my ipod touch, to remind me that each day is an adventure, no matter how tiring it may be, and to go through it happily, just like how Peter Pan laughed while dealing with Captain Hook! I've been a more optimistic person because of this story.

FYI: i do believe in fairies!

QUOTE eight

2011-09-19T03:39:00.001+08:00

"Oh, I knew that..."

You obviously didn't. And saying that wouldn't show anyone that you did. So why say that?

For some, it becomes a natural response to many knowledge shared by friends. Saying it mindlessly, even though you didn't.

It is as good as lying, but don't you feel a little egoistic dumb-blonde material after saying that?
Change it instead to "Oh, now i know that..".. Now, at least you don't sound like that ego-hungry person you are..

QUOTE seven

2011-09-18T03:28:00.003+08:00

"Imperfection is beauty.
Madness is genius.
And it is better to be absolutely ridiculous than to be absolutely boring."

Marilyn Monroe

Simply stunning.

I think she didn't know what she was saying! she was a beauty without the littlest bit of imperfection! I always confused her and the other Marilyn who removed his lower rib just so he can.... oh, it's just a rumor.

Imagine if everyone lives by her words.. the world would turn into a major Harajuku street.

FYI, this was not taken on any special occasions like Halloween. Changing room's back there, loves!

But, it's good if people could at least let loose once in a while, and at least have fun with their clothes. If you don't dare to be a tad bit crazy in fashion, then at least in the way you view things. There's no need to be serious all the time. Like during school carnival, some teacher still dress in their pressed long-sleeved, buttoned solid shirt and dark pants. Seriously?

Heads up, you guys aren't living life to the fullest. Just don't be absolutely boring. Marilyn Monroe made that law.

QUOTE six

2011-09-15T03:06:00.004+08:00

"Fake it till you make it"

A couple of days ago, i got my test results, and i couldn't believe i failed it. My first failed test in my life. Not meaning to brag, but... literally. All i wanted to be was to be a collegeballer.

Obviously, instead of telling my friends i failed, i lied. And that's when this quote came into my life.
"Fake it till you make it." Amazing how those words can make one feel both wrong yet so good, like you didn't just tell a lie. Awesome huh?

QUOTE five

2011-09-02T01:00:00.000+08:00

"Not really.."

SPOILER ALERT: this is going to be a post full of angst.
When people ask a question, say.. "does it hurt?" or "are you hungry?", the answer should always, and i really mean always be either a "yes" or a "no".
Not a "not really". It ticks me off a little.

Why?

Think of it this way.
I'D HAVE TO THINK WHETHER IT'S A YES OR A NO. And it's really difficult when you look hurt or hungry, and i pity you, then i think... wait, you said "not really" so that makes you... not hurt/hungry? but then again.. that means yes. ohhhhh... Why don't you just give me a proper reply?

Gosh what a headache.

Yet, even though i dislike those who say it, I myself say it sometimes. Cause i just don't know whether to spill the entire truth. But mostly i use it on my mom...

"Was dinner good?" i still love her and some of her cooking... some, but her heart simply can't take the plain truth.

or anyone asking if i have a crush on a particular person.

"Do you like so-and-so?" I'll smile shyly and say, "Not really." But that rarely happens. Cause i rarely have crushes. I'm too good for myself. Spoken like a true-blue narcissist. Not good.

But PLEASEE... if anything light and nothing personal was intended in the question... why cant you just say "yes" or "no"? It cannot get any simpler than that.

QUOTE four

2011-08-24T23:42:00.001+08:00

"Home is a place where teenagers go to refuel."

I forgot where i saw this particular quote? but i know it was way back before our good pal, Eduardo Saverin, became a billionaire. Before Facebook, home was definitely the place where teens go and power up. Well, actually, not just teens, I would think every single one of us would do that. If not, where in the world would we go?

No matter how much all those angsty teens like to dread going home, to a certain point, one can actually feel homesick when away for too long. Back when i still had Facebook, there was a particular video which caught my attention. It was viral. Everyone just had to watch it. My friends kept sharing it, my aunt caught a glimpse of it, and my parents were all over it (for the worse off reason... darn no more late nights)

It got me laughing. Really? They went to RI to study? Singapore's most elite school? it's like Harvard/oxford in high school standard. gosh. Anyways, the teens were more than willing to return to wherever they came from. I would be too. :P

I was once like that i suppose. Still am at times. Grabbing any chance not to stay home. But then i always felt something was amiss. Like a part of me "gone" when i'm away for a few nights. Probably my family's undying love for me.

I guess, teens think of escaping home, when they wish to be an adult, a control over their life. Little do they know that you get the most respect when back at home, as long as you are as respectful to everyone within those walls.

Facebook may be the new "home" to most. But love of your friends from Facebook still does not complete the equation that Family can complete.

No matter how true, it is still true.

QUOTE three

2011-08-15T01:26:00.001+08:00

"The choir is small but it sings a big song."

Parachute

I came across this song while youtubing Parachute Latest single "Forever and Always". And listening to the words makes me feel slightly more inspired to do something. The quote speaks so much, it's like glee all over again. The underdogs and all. Being a small group, yet singing the best cover of "Don't stop believing". Glee. wow, has the glee fever died down? I remembered watching it and disliking it, but because of peer pressure, I've been watching it till the most recent episode. If i hadnt, i wouldnt have any idea what my friends were talking about. Anyways, back to the quote. I'm pretty sure every one of us is a underdog/amateur in an aspect or another, and it really this quote, regardless what relation, hits the spot. It's like exquisitely self-motivational.

Oh heavens, too much inspirational words in one post!!

I tweeted this once, and someone replied "which?" and i hadnt any clue what to reply with. Parachute i suppose? I'm going really off topic now. shucks.

QUOTE two

2011-07-17T15:16:00.000+08:00

"People like you are the reason people like me take pills!"

Neva Faith Linn

The world we live in is highly subjective and that includes everyone reading this post.
I only know my first response. I laughed, knowing my mom have often been in that state. Now in my twenties, I have encountered a couple of people who are unbearably, choking-ly, lame and dumb, that now, even i myself wish that'd i could be more numb towards them.

I am a very... tolerant person, and can bear a high level of lame-ness. I just went out with a really 'dry' person last week... and i mean dry as LAME. I was asking about his day and he replied
"oh, well, the sun couldnt stop hiding behind the clouds, so my day was pretty dark."
It would be funny if that sort of response comes once in a while, to make the listener... listen, but continuous throws of such replies is highly not recommended. I mean, after a while, it came to a point i felt like an earthquake right about then would be a lifesaver.

Like seriously.... Stop it.

From Urban Dictionary:

1. Adjective describing someone who is Not Funny. This person usually thinks he is funny though, volunteering his jokes and creating an awkward "Why oh why did you feel you had to volunteer this?" atmosphere in the group. This person would be considered lame.

QUOTE one

2011-07-14T13:42:00.003+08:00

"Excuse me.....?"

I couldn't help it when my brother told me what a medical student said in one of the final exams in his last year.

Basically the student was supposed to pretend to deal with a patient but i think his nervous system had too much to handle...

Doctor: Good morning, Mr McKenzie. I'm Dr So-so. How are you doing?
Patient: Hi, I'm fine, i came here regarding my father.
Doctor: Oh, ok... may i clarify something. Are you, Mr McKenzie, the son of your father?

Well, all i gotta say now is "Good luck to passing that test!"

There are just questions you just don't have the slightest clue how to answer.
I got so addicted to stupid mistakes that i actually googled "stupid things people say and do" and found pretty amazing sites (listed below) that got me cracking real hard. Then it got me thinking, these people make the best comedy. And they're all around us..!
The following are just copy-pasted words from "Disorder in American Courts" which has the funniest moments in courts.

"Q: This myasthenia gravis, does it affect your memory at all?
A: Yes.
Q: And in what ways does it affect your memory?
A: I forget.
Q: You forget. Can you give us an example of something that you've forgotten? "

Q: How old is your son, the one living with you?
A: Thirty-eight or thirty-five, I can't remember which.
Q: How long has he lived with you?
A: Forty-five years.

Q: Were you present when your picture was taken?

Q: Was it you or your younger brother who was killed in the war?

Q: She had three children, right?
A: Yes.
Q: How many were boys?
A: None.
Q: Were there any girls?

Q: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse?
A: No.
Q: Did you check for blood pressure?
A: No.
Q: Did you check for breathing?
A: No.
Q: So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy?
A: No.
Q: How can you be so sure, Doctor?
A: Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar.
Q: But could the patient have still been alive nevertheless?
A: It is possible that he could have been alive and practicing law somewhere.

Read more in the sites listed below!
NUMBER ONE
NUMBER TWO
NUMBER THREE

The things people say huh? Laugh out loud.
If you were the one being questioned how would you respond? hmmm..